You'll Never know

just how much it means to me that I know I have SEVERAL people in my life who will do ANYTHING for me when I need. I have been going through a very difficult time in my life the past week or two and to know that I have some amazing people there, day or night, to be with me, talk with me, and pray with me, really is an awesome feeling. They know who they are so I don't need to mention names. But I love you and thank God for you. Even if it seems I didn't take up your offer of help, it means the world that you at least offered.


I know most of you don't know everything that is going on and that's a good thing (trust me) but I am definitely going through a time in my life where Satan has decided to attack and attack hard. I have stood my ground though and will NOT let him win. I have God on my side and therefore cannot lose. If I had not had my eyes on Him right now, I would have lost everything I have. But I was looking at Him and therefore what I have is only going to get better and stronger. Right now it's going to take lots of time to start moving forward and get past this huge bump but I have faith that God will be with me to the end.

My God can NEVER fail!

I'm still here...kinda

These are the lyrics to a song by Rachel Lampa. I think it fits me perfectly right now.



I'M FOLLOWING THE LINES LOOKING FOR THE ANSWERS TO A PRAYER
I'M LOOKING FOR THE SIGNS WAITING FOR THE SIGNAL THAT UR THERE
IF YOU ASK WHY I BELIEVE-
O THE ONLY THING THAT I COULD EVER SAY

YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN LIFE WILL TURN AROUND
ONE DAY YOUR FAITH'S STRONG THE NEXT IT CAN'T BE FOUND
AND YOU'RE NOT LOOKING AND ALL I KNOW IT'S OUTTA MY CONTROL
AND YOU NEVER KNOW I TRY TO FIGURE IN THE TIME WHEN MIRACLES SHOULD HAPPEN TO APPEAR
AND WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT THERE'S NOTHING MORE THAT I CAN DO DOWN HERE

I WANNA PLACE IT IN YOUR HANDS EVEN THOUGH
I WANNA UNDERSTANDYOU NEVER KNOW WHEN LIFE WILL TURN AROUND
ONE DAY YOUR FAITH'S STRONG THE NEXT IT CAN'T BE FOUND
AND YOU'RE NOT LOOKINGAND ALL I KNOW IT'S OUTTA MY CONTROL
AND YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU WANNA SPEND YOUR LIFE IN YOUR DESIGN,
YOU'RE ONLY WASTING TIME

...........

evrything is going to be ok. everything is going to be ok. everything is going to be ok. everything is going to be ok. everything is going to be ok. everything is going to be ok. everything is going to be ok. everything is going to be ok. everything is going to be ok. everything is going to be ok.

No matter how many times i say it, i just don't know if i believe it.

so....yeah

So without any details which are quite frankly no ones business (sorry to be so blunt), this past weekend I thought that life as I knew it was over in the worst possible way. FORTUNATELY, I (ok mostly God) did not let that happen and I am slowly but surely putting the shattered pieces back together. I know this is very vague but it's all I can do right now. I still need many many prayers but I have faith that it will get better. I am going to be stronger because of this.

P.S. If you wait a few days, I'm sure the rumors will get around.

my prayer

Father God,

Lord I pray for strength. The strength to do Your will not matter what it costs me, for I look to you for my path and direction. I pray for comfort for everything that is to come, and for wisdom to see it through. Most importantly Lord, I ask for courage. It's not easy what is laid before me and I need all the courage in the world to do Your will, whatever that may be. Please Father I ask that I be strong enough to get through this so that I can go on sharing the love You have placed in me. In all Your grace and mercy I pray. Amen.

Day 3 of torture

I mean diet and exercise. Well I'm more sore than I have been in my entire life. And I thought it was bad after one roller derby practice with Andi. HA! That was nothing compared to how I feel now. I hurt in places I didn't know it was possible to be sore in. But I guess that means it's working. I am doing the workout again tonight and that will be a sight to see...I can barely move.

As for the diet...it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I'm doing the low carb diet which means I can only have 20 carbs a day. The past 2 days I've only had about 13 each day. Not to bad. I've been eating LOTS of salad, LOTS of grilled chicken, and drinking LOTS of water among other things. At least cheese is low carb. I'd die without cheese. Have you ever realized how many carbs are in EVERYTHING??? Like one can of Mountain Dew has like 42. Geez. Well after one week of this diet I can have more, just gotta keep a watch on what and how much I eat.

Oh by the way, I've lost 1.5 lbs already. Not to bad eh? I can't wait to lose the other 23.5!

Exercise is my favorite....

NOT! But I am starting this new one called Turbo Jam. I have seen it on TV forever and always wanted to do it and my friend has the videos so we are going to start doing it. Everyday. We started today and let me tell you, it pretty much kicked my butt. But I will not give up! Besides from the overly energetic people on the video, it was actually quite fun.

Along with that I am going to be dieting; eating healthier foods and smaller portions. I am really hoping to lose between 20-30lbs because that is my target weight range according to this chart.

So wish me luck, and for all you weight watchers out there, I will be sympathizing with you!

My Quiz

So I gave in and finally made one....go here to take my quiz.